Why did you pick this number? I would like to believe if I were born a male I would be totally stacked.

Weapon of Choice: Hitachi Magic Wand

Favorite Derby Move: Not falling

Known on the track for: Very loud scary screaming

Turn Ons: A nice size beer belly

Turn Offs: Shoulder hair

Favorite Skater: Pandamonium

Favorite Food: Pho, isn't that so obvious?

Do you have a derby wife? The lovely Smack Dahlia

Things I enjoy outside of derby are: antiquing, cars, and making out

Vices: Eggrolls

Any derby nemesis? I would hope not.

Previous derby background? none

My team would describe me as: Hopefully tolerable/likeable

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