Absolutely Scabulous


Hall of Pain 2012 Edition

Posted on June 18th, by demonic in Hall of Pain, Sponsors, Unsung Heroes, Volunteers. Comments Off

Hurry! Someone call the WHAMbulance!

It has been a while since we posted pics of our battle wounds. Here are some of our favorites in case there was any doubt in your mind that roller derby was a full-contact sport. WARNING: Don’t scroll down if you’re squeamish!

Thanks to our medics for volunteering their time and expertise at our bouts and scrimmage practices:

Andrew Aragon
Karen Carlsen
Brandon Christensen
Jeff Chung
Katie Hensel
Isaak Huerta
Michelle Park

We also appreciate the generous services of our sponsor, Dr. Mike Rogerson. Rogerson Chiropractic is a family and sports chiropractic clinic in Santa Clara.


STRIKE!

Posted on November 30th, by demonic in Community Service, Off the Rink, Silicon Valley Roller Girls. 2 comments

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls spent a very special Thanksgiving with West Valley Community Services at Bowlmor Lanes in Cupertino, ensuring that many area low-income families had a day worthy of being thankful for.

Satan’s Kitten, Stevie Knickers, and Absolutely Scabulous served a beautiful Thanksgiving lunch (on roller skates of course!) alongside other Silicon Valley notables, including United Way CEO Carole Leigh Hutton, Assemblyman Paul Fong, Cupertino Mayor Kris Wang and Saratoga Councilwoman Jill Hunter.

Smash N' Burn, Mongoose, Latin Crippler, Lindsay Lohanded, Catherine Beata Bones, and Cannonball Iztik worked the food line and refilled drinks, while Donna Diggler cheered families on at the bowling lanes, and Postal Servix and Beth Sentence handed out SVRG giveaways to children.

The girls were welcomed with open arms and were provided a bowling pin to sign, which will be displayed in Bowlmor’s special case alongside pins ... Read More »


Skater of the Month: Retox Fox

I am very grateful to my awesome teammates for bestowing this honor upon me. However, interviewing myself is a little meta and a lot awkward. Take a shot with me and let's roll:

How did you get into roller derby?

I was getting signals for a couple of years. As soon as a team started up in my hometown, Louisville, my dad cut out every newspaper article or ad about the Derby City Roller Girls and mailed it to me, but I didn’t have a team where I was living (in the seventh circle of Hell, or southwest Florida). When I moved to Tucson, my BFF/roommate told me he thought derby would be a perfect match for me, but grad school was eating me alive. My final push was actually seeing derby in the flesh—a friend took me to Virgin MusicFest in ... Read More »


SVRG KillaBytes topple Lake Tahoe Derby Dames, 123-48

Posted on July 25th, by demonic in Roller Derby, Silicon Valley Roller Girls, SVRG Bouts. Comments Off

The KillaBytes had already taken some hits to the roster from Satan’s Kitten’s separated shoulder, Absolutely Scabulous’s recent concussion, and a last-minute work obligation from Catherine Beata Bones, so they were down to 13 for this bout. Spirits were high, though, because the Killas were happy to welcome back former co-captain Steffin’ Razor, whose return from knee surgery had been delayed due to a subsequent concussion. The Killas were also excited to debut a new member, Tennessee Smitan, who graduated from bootcamp this spring and made her first roster.

In true form, SVRG made it rain—literally. A couple of hours before the bout, the skies became overcast, thunder rolled in the distance, and the drizzle began. Normally, this isn’t much an issue for roller derby bouts, but the Tahoe venue was an outdoor rink, placidly set beneath the towering redwoods at ... Read More »


SVRG is a win-win; Killas take down ACDG Rocket Queens 118-72 and Dots pummel Treasure Valley 208-68

Posted on July 11th, by demonic in Roller Derby, Silicon Valley Roller Girls, SVRG Bouts. Comments Off

The luau-themed Freaky Tiki Throwdown was a fun-filled evening for fans and skaters alike. Victory was in the air at San Jose Skate on Saturday night as both Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ teams, the KillaBytes and the Dot.Kamikazes, racked up solid wins.

The KillaBytes were coming off an amazing performance (albeit, a loss) against the Denver Roller Dolls’ Bruising Altitude on June 12. They were curious as to what the Angel City Derby Girls’ Rocket Queens would be bringing, since the team has undergone a reboot (several retirements and lots of new blood) since they faced the Dot.Kamikazes last season. Given their younger roster, the team was matched against the KillaBytes this season instead. The KillaBytes were also excited to face the Rocket Queens since a former SVRG bootcamper, Blow Hole, had moved to southern California and was on the ACDG ... Read More »


SVRG rollin' around the South Bay

Posted on May 16th, by demonic in Off the Rink, Silicon Valley Roller Girls. Comments Off

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls were out and about this weekend. On Saturday morning, several skaters and their assortment of dogs made an appearance in the Los Altos Pet Parade. Lizapalooza and Absolutely Scabulous brought their respective Chloes; Steffin' Razor, Vegas Vixen, and Smack Dahlia had their bulldogs (Betty, Miller, and Knuckles, respectively); Belle brought beautiful white wolflike Gir; Saucy Monstrosity brought her pint-sized chihuahua, Mugsy; and Retox Fox, being petless among the bunch, toted the banner. Thanks to the Los Altos Town Crier for mentioning us in their writeup.

Later on in the day, Ab Scab and Fox joined up with Bitch Puddin', Zootown Throwdown, Bozo Disposo, and Cosmo Trouble (the former MisTits) to perform some demos and chat with the crowd at Via Velo, a festival in downtown San Jose celebrating biking and alternative forms of transportation. It's always ... Read More »


Skater of the Month: Absolutely Scabulous

Posted on March 24th, by demonic in Skater of the Month, SVRG Skaters. 4 comments

How do I love AbScab? Let me count the ways. This woman is a go-getter in every sense of the word and has committed herself to the league 100%. She is the person you cross your fingers and hope to get in your group or on your scrimmage team because you know her enthusiasm is going to keep you going and get you in a good place no matter what. She recently debuted in her first bout for the KillaBytes in March. Her solid, clean play, teamwork, and endurance meant she skated in over 50% of jams--amazing! Off the track, as Head of Bout Production, she puts in a zillion woman-hours making sure our bouts run smooth like butter. We are lucky to have such a font of energy, ideas, and achievement in the league. I heart you!

How did you ... Read More »


San Diego Hard Corps inch past KillaBytes, 108-105; Dot.Kamikazes quell the Dockyard Derby Dames, 158-88

Posted on March 7th, by demonic in SVRG Bouts. 4 comments

Wow, for those of you who couldn't make our doubleheader on Saturday, you missed an amazing night of roller derby!

First up, the Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ KillaBytes faced off against San Diego’s Hard Corps. In December, members of SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes and KillaBytes had traveled to San Diego to play a scrap bout (i.e., an unofficial bout where whomever can go and play does) with a hybrid of their A and B teams and ended up losing in the last moments of the bout. Given San Diego’s stellar level of play, the Killas were looking forward to hosting them on SVRG’s home turf. The KillaBytes were also very excited to debut three new skaters who graduated from bootcamp at the end of last season and were skating in their very first bout: Absolutely Scabulous, Bozo Disposo, and Catherine Beata Bones.

San Diego ... Read More »


Hall of Pain: Absolutely Scabulous eats rink

Posted on February 16th, by demonic in Hall of Pain, Roller Derby. Comments Off

No, that's not a fine goatee AbScab is sporting. In the midst of some hot derby action at practice last week, she took a full on sprawl and met the floor chin first. Thankfully, she had her mouthguard in, so she only ate floor and not her own tongue. The result was this lovely bruise and a raging headache the next day. Hot!

AbScab is thankful to still have her pretty teefs, and so would like this to serve as a public service announcement: ALWAYS WEAR YOUR MOUTHGUARD!


IMHO: Confessions of a Derby Wannabe

Posted on January 28th, by demonic in IMHO, Roller Derby. 7 comments

This post comes from SVRG's Absolutely Scabulous, who passed bootcamp at the end of last season and has become a full time derby girl. Currently she is serving as Head of Bout Production and doing a fabulous job...come see the product of all her hard work (on skates and off) at our first home bout on March 6!

by Absolutely Scabulous

It's been 8 months, folks. 8 months, 3 two-hour practices a week, and all the additional heart and soul I have been putting into the sport of roller derby. If you would have asked me last April where I would have seen myself in 8 months, I think my arrogance would have gotten the best of me. I was convinced that I could possibly be the missing link in roller derby, the undiscovered gem, that finally, I may have found ... Read More »



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