MisTits


Dot.Kamikazes Take Third in the Big One

Posted on June 6th, by demonic in SVRG Bouts. Comments Off

After a 259-40 loss to the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls this morning, the Dot.Kamikazes rallied in the losers' bracket to take third place in the Big One from the Humboldt Redwood Rollers.

SVRG went into the game missing a player, Pia Mess, whose ejection in the bout against the B.A.D. Girls carried over to the bout  against Humboldt. Humboldt jumped to a quick lead in the first few jams, but SVRG summoned their amazing endurance and started to lay down the points. SVRG secured the lead and ended the first half ahead, 69-44.

In the second half, Humboldt came back strong, and the teams traded off the lead several times. A rally in the last few minutes buoyed by strong jamming by Smack Dahlia and Death by Dollface and power blocking by MisTits (aka Cosmo Trouble) launched SVRG ahead of Redwood, ending ... Read More »


SVRG rollin' around the South Bay

Posted on May 16th, by demonic in Off the Rink, Silicon Valley Roller Girls. Comments Off

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls were out and about this weekend. On Saturday morning, several skaters and their assortment of dogs made an appearance in the Los Altos Pet Parade. Lizapalooza and Absolutely Scabulous brought their respective Chloes; Steffin' Razor, Vegas Vixen, and Smack Dahlia had their bulldogs (Betty, Miller, and Knuckles, respectively); Belle brought beautiful white wolflike Gir; Saucy Monstrosity brought her pint-sized chihuahua, Mugsy; and Retox Fox, being petless among the bunch, toted the banner. Thanks to the Los Altos Town Crier for mentioning us in their writeup.

Later on in the day, Ab Scab and Fox joined up with Bitch Puddin', Zootown Throwdown, Bozo Disposo, and Cosmo Trouble (the former MisTits) to perform some demos and chat with the crowd at Via Velo, a festival in downtown San Jose celebrating biking and alternative forms of transportation. It's always ... Read More »


Dot.Kamikazes Edged Out by Arizona, Defeated by Duke, but Topple Tucson at Dust Devil

Posted on April 19th, by demonic in SVRG Bouts. 2 comments

SVRG's Dot.Kamikazes traveled to Tucson for the Dust Devil tournament this past weekend. The week leading up to the tournament had not been kind to the Dots, with jammer Betta Watchit downed with an ankle injury on Sunday and blocker and defensive lynchpin Rot Wheels breaking her leg in practice on Monday. Injuries continued to haunt the team during the tournament.

The Dot.Kamikazes faced Arizona Roller Derby's Tent City Terrors, whom they had defeated at the Bakersfield Dust Bowl tournament. Although the Dots were ahead by 50 points, Arizona made a great comeback and won, 137-133. During the game both Pia Mess and Lindsay Lohanded sustained injuries; Lohanded was forced to sit out the first bout against Duke on Sunday.

On Sunday, the Dots skated against their first nationally ranked team, #21 Duke City (from Albuquerque, NM). Although the Dots made a ... Read More »


SVRG's Dot.Kamikazes win the Dustbowl Invitational!!

Posted on March 28th, by demonic in Roller Derby, Silicon Valley Roller Girls, SVRG Bouts. 1 Comment

That's right, SVRG skated in their first tournament ever this weekend, and they dominated!

On Saturday, they played four 20-minute games in their pool, securing four wins. First, the Dot.Kamikazes defeated hosts Derby Revolution of Bakersfield 42-14. Next, they blew out Central California Area Derby 88-9. Then, they faced their BFFs from over the hill, the Santa Cruz Derby Girls, and triumphed 68-12. In their last pool play game, they faced tough competition from Arizona Roller Derby, but SVRG came away victorious, 45-31.

Sunday, SVRG entered competition as the top seed. Sunday's play featured 30-minute games. They faced Santa Cruz again, whom they beat 80-22. In the final round, they were set to play the Sac City Rollers, who had defeated Tucson. The Dots dominated Sac City, 170-100, to win their first ever tournament!

Special congratulations to MisTits, who was named Best Blocker, ... Read More »


San Diego Hard Corps inch past KillaBytes, 108-105; Dot.Kamikazes quell the Dockyard Derby Dames, 158-88

Posted on March 7th, by demonic in SVRG Bouts. 4 comments

Wow, for those of you who couldn't make our doubleheader on Saturday, you missed an amazing night of roller derby!

First up, the Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ KillaBytes faced off against San Diego’s Hard Corps. In December, members of SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes and KillaBytes had traveled to San Diego to play a scrap bout (i.e., an unofficial bout where whomever can go and play does) with a hybrid of their A and B teams and ended up losing in the last moments of the bout. Given San Diego’s stellar level of play, the Killas were looking forward to hosting them on SVRG’s home turf. The KillaBytes were also very excited to debut three new skaters who graduated from bootcamp at the end of last season and were skating in their very first bout: Absolutely Scabulous, Bozo Disposo, and Catherine Beata Bones.

San Diego ... Read More »


Skater of the Month: MisTits

Posted on February 18th, by demonic in Roller Derby, Skater of the Month, SVRG Skaters. Comments Off

I confess that I have probably voted for MisTits as SOTM more than any other skater on SVRG. All it takes is going up against her one-on-one in any blocking situation to know how fearsome she is. After every bout I am reminded of the grace and fortitude of her execution as she darts around the track, laying out opponents right and left with the efficiency of a professional assassin. I've seen jammers catch more air than Michael Jordan after Tits has picked one off with a killer hit. The reason why Tits is such an amazing blocker, though, is that in addition to all that raw power, she is incredibly agile on her skates. That combination should give any opponent a sinking feeling when they see her lining up.

How did you find out about roller derby?
I was looking up ... Read More »


SVRG has a fun and derbyful weekend

Posted on December 15th, by demonic in Roller Derby, Sister Leagues, SVRG Bouts. Comments Off

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls' season officially ended at the November bout, but we've still been workin' it out and taking any derby opportunity that rolls our way. This weekend SVRG members made appearances at Red Red Holiday, a mixed scrimmage hosted by Sac City, and a scrap team (translation: anyone who had the time & money to travel) meandered down to face some of the San Diego Derby Dolls.

Red Red was particularly exciting this year because we got to send a lot of our new blood for some scrimmage experience. In addition to SVRG vets Steffen Razor (Team Orange) and MisTits (Dark Green), five of our interns got their first taste of bouting: Bozo Disposo (Dark Blue), Cannonball Iztik (Black), Absolutely Scabulous (Red), Blanca Basura Barbie (Pink) and Catherine Beata Bones (Light Green). The ladies had a wonderful time, ... Read More »


SVRG double header a double triumph: KillaBytes bury the Undead Bettys and Dot.Kamikazes take down the Redwood Rollers

Posted on November 15th, by demonic in Roller Derby, SVRG Bouts. 7 comments

SVRG closed out a stellar season with double wins as the KillaBytes defeated the Brentwood Undead Bettys 155-104 and the Dot.Kamikazes beat the Humboldt Redwood Rollers 159-63.

The KillaBytes, who hadn’t played a home game since May, brought in the crowds for their second home bout during the 2009 season. Considering their last bout was in August, the team was reared up and ready to take on Brentwood’s Undead Bettys last Saturday.

Although the Killas and the Bettys had not yet faced off, some of the Killas had skated with the Bettys earlier in the season against the Santa Cruz Harbor Hellcats. In the spirit of sharing, some of the Santa Cruz women helped the Bettys fill out their roster for this bout. Don’t let the numbers fool, you, though; although the Bettys may have trouble fielding 14 of their own for ... Read More »


The Ultimate Guide to Choosing Your Roller Derby Name

Posted on October 12th, by demonic in Roller Derby. 32 comments

So, you’ve decided you want to be a roller derby girl. You’ve gathered your gear, paid your dues, and you’ve been taking your hits on the fresh meat rink. You’re getting ready to graduate from bootcamp and join the big girls. You’re in it to win it—so the time has come to get yourself the perfect moniker. Choosing the right roller derby name is an art, so whether you’re brainstorming or narrowing down your choices, be sure to consider the following bits of advice.

1. Make it memorable. The most classic derby names are short, sweet, and have a pun that the general audience can follow. Often, names are plays off of female names. Personally, I think it’s hard to beat our own Pia Mess. All the better if your number plays into the joke too—Pia’s is 24/7.

2. Watch the spelling ... Read More »


SVRG Dot.Kamikazes dominate the Orange County Crushers, 132-64

Posted on September 28th, by demonic in Roller Derby, SVRG Bouts. 1 Comment

Reporting by Kimfectious

When I say SV, you say RG! Over and over, Skooter Ov’r got the crowd pumped up to cheer for their hometown favorites, the Dot.Kamikazes, as they battled it out with Orange County’s Orange Crushers.  As the two teams rolled out, Juicy K. Tore of SVRG cartwheeled her way into her birthday bout, setting the mood for a fun and action packed night.  The crowd was already going nuts as the girls lined up for the first whistle blow.

Pia Mess started off the first jam with 14 points.  Both her booty and her attitude taunted the opposing team with “I dare you.”  Smash & Burn, Smack Dahlia, and Terribelle Demise proved to be a strong jammer rotation for Silicon Valley, with Wild Bella, B Train, D Cup Runneth Over, and Ice Cube sportin’ the star for Orange County.  ... Read More »



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